March comes to an end

15 months and 9 days since my life-changing surgery. It's been a good week for me. I feel strong and confident in my choices. I've made exercise a priority, even though it would have been easy to blow it off because I was gone for 3 days traveling on a business trip. I made food choices the best I could with dining out every meal for 3 days. I've had some confidence-boosting moments as I begin to get attention from complete strangers of the male gender. When my P.A. was telling me this would happen and that it would be an adjustment I just blew it off. I've spent my whole life being invisible. Even when I dated I felt invisible. I don't blame anyone for that feeling but myself - I'm sure I projected an image that was not confident or secure. So TODAY I recognize this change as being good. It makes me blush when I receive the attention but honestly, deep down, I love it. It gives me that little extra boost, it makes me want to make good choices. It gives me hope that I can do this and I will do this!!!! TODAY - a good day. Tomorrow, even better!

Small Goals...

I read this blog yesterday where the person was talking about achieving small goals. I kept repeatedly reading that sentence, pondering the difference between a small goal and large goal. Funny how people's perception of something is so very different. She was comparing her small goal (weighing 199) to her large goal (losing 100 pounds). She had just recently lost 100 pounds and was sharing her celebration. I thought back to my first 100 pounds, while excited I didn't treat it as if it was a "large goal", after all I still had another 100 pounds to lose. Although, I anxiously await for the scale to say 199 and the day it does will be a "large goal" for ME.

At first when I read her blog I was hurt to think that reaching 199 was no big deal....but after thinking about it awhile I realize that PERCEPTION is 90% of this journey. My perception is much different from others that are taking the same journey or even to those that are just outsiders looking in.

I learned something else yesterday after reading her blog....

Cut yourself some slack. I'm doing everything I'm suppose to be doing and while the weight loss is painfully slow, I AM WINNING!!!! Everyday I'm a little closer to reaching my goal. Not because the scale tells me, but because I can honestly say that my relationship with food is so much more healthy and I have a good understanding of the things I need to do to continue my journey. Everyday that I recognize that I'm a work in progress is a success. So, no more beating myself up. I've spent a lifetime doing that and it hasn't done my one bit of good.

Spring is approaching and I feel good about me. Is there room for improvement? ALWAYS. I'm I improving? YES. Do I need a scale to tell me if I'm improving? NO.