Still Struggling

So, it's been about a week since my last post. I have my appointment with a personal trainer, of course the gym is closed this week for maintenance, so next week I will meet with her. I have reviewed my 10 steps and I really do think I'm doing everything to the best of my ability. I'm a little sick of food right now. There really isn't anything that I care to fix and then have to eat for the week and half. Do you know how crappy that is. Sure I can make a smaller recipe of some things. Other things it just doesn't do you any good because you have a 1/2 a can of this or a 1/2 bag of that hanging around because you just cut the recipe in half, but you can't buy just what you need. Kinda like a double-edged sword.

However, tonight I'm making my version of a BLT. I have fresh garden tomatoes and I can't wait to sink my teeth into them. YUMMY! Maybe this will be the turning point on food. It just hasn't tasted good lately so I don't put a lot of effort into cooking. That's a mistake because then I eat things like canned chili and box mac and cheese. While those are good once in awhile, I don't think they are the best in terms of fat content and calories. Need to make sure these processed foods are not the staple of my diet.

I do enjoy having a garden and things are starting to come to life, other than the zucchini!!!! The corn is a bust - the wind knocked 1/2 of it down and the other half isn't looking much better. The beets have a lot of growing to do. Peppers are just starting to come on and the tomatoes are just staring to ripen. I've waited and waited and when those tomatoes start turning I will probably be pedaling tomatoes to anyone and everyone.

So, still working on the whole struggling thing. One day at a time. I just want to get through August. Bring on September and then maybe I can start having some control again of my destiny. Right now I've put myself on autopilot. I just need to get through a couple more rough weeks and then maybe I can start enjoying everything again.......

Keeping fingers crossed.

Please Lord....

So, I would definitely say that a person can get into a rut with this new lifestyle. I'M STRUGGLING and feel like my rut is just getting deeper and deeper. Everyday I tell myself "new day, new way" and then by the end of the day I've fallen off the plan again and feel bad and guilty for having failed.

I NEED HELP! My friends and family are awesome, but lets face it, my family is many many miles away and my friends while supportive are not necessarily there living this with me. I love each and every one of them, but how are they even going to know that I struggle? That's been one of my worst habits...pretending everything is good on the outside. Can't possibly let anyone know that I'm struggling.

So here's what I've decided to do.

Step 1:
I'm going back to the gym. I'm going to get a personal trainer for 6-weeks to see if I can get help getting off of the longest plateau of my life and get me on a training schedule that I can adhere to.

Step 2:
I'm going to ask for help from my friends. (that won't be easy)

Step 3:
I'm going to review my 10 rules sheet again to make sure I'm following everything as I'm suppose to. Make adjustments as necessary and get out of this rut onto a new attitude!

Wish me luck!